Hidden Shadows
by Nightclaw
Summary: There is a hidden shadow in all of us. It lies dormant, waiting a chance to leap out and mar all. For most that shadow never gets a chance, but my shadow sprang and changed my life forever. This is my story; from kit to warrior, from half clan to heroine.
1. Prolouge

**I know this is short but read on and it gets longer!**

I gaze across to the forest longingly. I remember when I belonged to ThunderClan. I left long ago; I was never truly accepted as one of them. I was an outcast from the beginning although I never noticed it till I became an apprentice. Goldenflower was the only one who protected me. I remember her sweet motherly smell and the warm milk she would give to my brother and myself.

I am still not completely accepted now, for my new clan fears that I will leave them too and betray all of their secrets like my father before me. I would not of course. I am too proud to do that, too proud to return to my birthplace where my heart aches and yearns to be. No, I made my decision a long time ago and I am not going to turn my back on my previous choice as terrible as it was.

I was too young, too frightened, too angry and too excited at the prospect of a completely new life to consider the consequences of my decision. So now I suffer these penalties of my choice too vain to return, so here I will forever remain.

The marshy land beneath my paws is not where I was born. No, I was born over in a land of forest trees and bushes. I was born under the shade of a bramble nursery nestled innocently by my mother's side. How I wish I could still be that innocent kit now. Yes, I was born in ThunderClan without my father and my greatest quest as a kit was to discover whom he was. Now I wish I had never found out. Discovering the truth was the worst mistake I ever made.

**Hi! This story is Tawnypelt's story from when she was just a kit. At first it will be the books rewritten from Tawnypelt's point of view but somewhere along the line I will change The story line and make everything more interesting. But I'm not saying when! Please please review or I really won't update. This isn't a priority so if I don't get reviews I will lose interest. Three reviews for each chapter would be absolute heaven. And the more reviews the better the chapter! Review!**


	2. Fire!

Smoke, black, dark grey fog clouds my vision as I stumble after mother who is right in front of me. I can see her pale ginger coat as we trip over logs and bushes. The dreadful scent of fear lies heavily in the air and my clan-mates tremble around me. All is dark, it is night but when I look up StarClan is nowhere to be seen. And when I look down again I can see the devouring flames, claiming all in sight.

The deputy is shouting orders but I am too frightened to listen. I just follow my mother blindly, that's all I can do. I see a flash of ginger and I know it is our deputy Fireheart. He smells of fear too, but he still goes on. It gives courage to all around me but I am almost too blind in terror that I cannot quite comprehend.

All I can hear is the roar of the fire and the screams of panicking warriors. Briefly I wonder how Fireheart's namesake can be so unlike him. Suddenly mother stops and turns towards me, her eyes full of horror.

"Where's Bramblekit?" She cries in alarm. "He was behind me when I was climbing the ravine!" I look up, not quite understanding. My mind is getting dizzy from the smoke, and I am too tired.

"I'll find him." Fireheart promises. More talk goes on but my mind shuts it all out. I know I am too tired to go any further. Mother takes me gently in her jaws and begins to run. Trees, smoke and flames are all I see and even then it is all muddled in my tired mind. My eyes close and I let out a pitiful wail of terror. Will this nightmare ever stop?

Cold icy water strikes my hot pelt and I can feel us moving. It is beginning to make me numb and I welcome it, hoping it will all end, but it doesn't. I reach the other side shivering from exhaustion. And then my eyes close and I remember no more.

* * *

A nice warm day greets me as I step outside. "Come on, let's play clan leaders!" Bramblekit cries as he races towards Snowkit. "I'm Tallstar!" He growls as he barrels into the older white kitten. Snowkit squeals in fright as Bramblekit pins him to the ground. I can't be bothered to join in. Snowkit is never interesting.

Suddenly Fireheart flies towards the pair of kits and knocks Bramblekit away with a faint snarl. I watch with interest. Fireheart is so brave, I still remember how he went and got my brother from the fire.

"What do you think you're doing?" He growls. Bramblekit gets up, shock written all over his face. I hide a laugh. He looks so funny. He is all messed up and staring wide eyed into the face of Fireheart.

"Well?" The deputy demands. My laughter fades. Fireheart doesn't seem to be joking. He hardly ever jokes around us now that I think about it though he certainly does around Sandstorm. In fact I don't really remember one word of praise he has given us so far. Then again I suppose we are only a few moons old.

Bramblekit shook himself hiding the embarrassment I knew he would feel. Goody, another thing to tease him about when he doesn't want to let mother give him a wash.

"We were only playing." Bramblekit says feebly but I can hear the shame creep into his voice. Fancy being told off by Fireheart!

"Only playing? Then why was Snowkit squealing like that?" Fireheart asks his eyes burning. Bramblekit looked away not meeting the deputy's eyes.

"How should I know? He can't play properly anyway." My ears perk eagerly as mother speaks up. Brilliant, Bramblekit is really getting told off this time!

"Bramblekit! How many times do I have to tell you? If someone squeals you let go. And don't be so rude to Fireheart. Remember, he's your deputy." She says sternly. Bramblekit knows that he can't be bad to mother in front of Fireheart. She would have his ears off!

"I'm sorry." He mumbles but I know he isn't really. He is only sorry that Fireheart is making such a big scene.

"Yes, well, just make sure it doesn't happen again." Fireheart scolds. Bramblekit is tired of being told off. He gets up and walks over to Snowkit to apologise. I watch eagerly. Bramblekit won't forget this for a long time. Not if I can help it! But now I have to say something, I just can't keep quiet any longer.

"He's no fun. He never has any good games." I say, referring to Snowkit. Mother looks at me disappointedly. Great, now I'll be told off.

"Tawnykit!" She rebukes. I look away as she cuffs me lightly over the ear. That doesn't hurt but the embarrassment does. I walk over to Bramblekit who has now retreated from Snowkit.

"If you're Tallstar, then I must be…" I pause dramatically as Bramblekit's face lights up. "Crookedstar!" I leap at him with a fierce battle cry and we begin to fight. Over and over we tumble but soon I am tired and I move away.

"I am Tallstar, the fearsome conqueror!" Bramblekit crows in delight. I decide to ignore him and suddenly an idea pops into my mind.

"Hey! I know, lets go and see the elders!" I shout. Bramblekit jumps up enthusiastically. "Yeah! They said they'd share some great stories!"

We run over to mother who is talking with Fireheart and Bramblekit skids to a halt. He uses the bright eyes trick, just in case mother is doubtful.

"Can we go and see One-eye? She said she had good stories!" Mother purrs.

"Yes of course. Don't forget to take her some fresh-kill. That's good manners, and be back by sunset!" She warns. "We will!" I mew, speaking for both of us.

"I'm going to get a mouse for One-eye!" I challenge my brother looking back at him. He narrows his eyes.

"No you're not, I am!" He shouts. Bramblekit dashes off but I am faster. I grab the mouse and beat him to the elder's den by only half a mouse length.

* * *

**Well, there's chapter one! It does get better and there's more action soon. This is in Tawnykit's pov if you didn't know. I don't like to put big signs before the chapter, I hope that you can work it out by reading. Well, I hope you liked it but because I'm not telepathic and I don't think you are either you're going to have to review to let me know. So press that button down there that says review! **


	3. An unusual visitor

Night was settling in, I could feel the breeze flow gently past my ears. Mother had just gone to make dirt and Bramblekit was asleep. I yawned tiredly but sat up when I heard a noise outside. I sniffed uncertainly. Who was it? A dark shape appeared in the entrance to the nursery.

"Bramblekit?" A voice asked quietly. I peered forwards curiously, but I still couldn't see who it was.

"He's asleep. Who is it?" I asked. The shape moved further into the den.

"Tawnykit? Its me Darkstripe." Sure enough I could see the dark tom standing in front of me. I could smell his excitement and my curiosity grew. Darkstripe hardly ever visited the nursery; in fact he had once ever been once!

"Would you like to meet your father? I can take you to see him if you like." he suggested. My eyes brightened and my ears pricked eagerly.

"Meet my father?" I asked. Suddenly we heard something from outside. It sounded like mother! Darkstripe tensed and he began speaking hurriedly to me.

"Okay perhaps not right now, but we'll arrange something soon, okay?" He meowed. Mother appeared behind Darkstripe and she stopped dead at the sight of him.

"Darkstripe, she said flatly. Darkstripe dipped his head courteously to mother.

"Goldenflower," he meowed politely but I caught a glint of fear in his eyes. I was confused. Why was Darkstripe scared of mother?

"I'd like to speak to you outside. Now," mother demanded. Both the cats turned and I began to follow them but mother turned around.

"Tawnykit, stay here with your brother," she told me firmly I sighed heavily and flopped down beside Bramblekit. He turned and let out a small snore. I ignored him and thought about what had happened.

Why was mother so cold to Darkstripe? And why didn't she talk about father? Or take us to see him? I strained my ears but I couldn't pick up any words from the conversation outside.

My paws tingled with excitement as I remembered Darkstripe's promise. _We'll arrange something soon_, he had said. My heart filled with longing to see my father and I fell asleep happily with one last thought. _I'll see my father soon._

* * *

I open my eyes to a warm sunny day. I yawn and roll over, closing my eyes again because it's too bright. I take in a whiff of air and note that all the scents are the same. I relax but too soon. A sharp claw nudges me on the side and I reopen my eyes in annoyance.

Bramblekit is standing over me with his paw raised to do it again. I bat it away with a faint hiss of irritation. Bramblekit however takes no notice.

"Come on!" Bramblekit mews eagerly. "Let's go and play!" I wince at his loud tone.

"Shush." I warn him glancing around nervously to see if anyone has woken. No one stirs, least of all mother who is sleeping peacefully. "Okay. Lets go." I agree and Bramblekit follows me as I dash out of the den.

"Alright, I'm cat and you're mouse!" Bramblekit cries, racing towards me. I growl playfully as I dodge his thorn sharp claws.

"How come I'm always mouse?" I ask. Bramblekit runs towards me again. I groan inwardly. Surely he won't just keep running at me? I dodge him again but he had anticipated it. He leapt to the side and pinned me down as I accidentally leapt into him. Bramblekit grins.

"Cause you're not good at being the cat." He teases. He leaps off my chest lightly. I narrow my eyes and bowl into him as he releases me, pinning him down in turn.

"Or is it," I ask as I lean down to look into his eyes. "Because you're not clever enough to be mouse?" Bramblekit purrs good-naturedly as I get up. The sun is nice, warming us to the tips of our paws. Suddenly we hear a movement behind us, and we turn to see mother exit the nursery.

She yawns widely and stretches her legs as she walks over to us.

"I'm just going to make dirt and then I'll be back. Okay?" She asks. We nod obediently, tired after our previous scuffle. Mother slips behind the nursery; anxiously looking back to make sure we're safe. As she disappears I turn to Bramblekit hesitantly.

"Bramblekit." I ask him. He turns to face me, his amber eyes wide and curious. "Has mother ever told you about our father?" Bramblekit's expression changed to puzzlement.

"No, she hasn't. Why, who is he?" I shake my head.

"I don't know." I hear a rustling from behind the nursery and fell silent. Mother steps out to greet us again.

"Hello kits. Will you be good if I send Willowpelt out to watch while I take a nap?" We nod again and Bramblekit turns to me, a question held clearly in his eyes. I pause for a second and then give him a tiny shake of my head. Mother watches us in bewilderment but then she sighs and returns to the den for a nap.

Bramblekit turns to me in annoyance and regret lies in his words. " Why didn't you let me ask her?" He asked irritably.

"Don't be like that, you know she never answers about father." I replied my hackles rising. Bramblekit shrugged stubbornly and I could feel my temper increasing. I was glad when an interruption came.

I felt rather than saw Darkstripe approach. As we turned to him excitement pricked my paws. Darkstripe's eyes gleamed.

"Hello Tawnykit." He greeted me. "Hello Bramblekit." He meowed to my brother who seemed confused but the gray black warrior didn't give him a chance to ask questions.

"I think its time that you got to meet your father, don't you?" He said. I leapt up at once and watched, as Bramblekit's eyes grew wide and eager.

"Yes, yes!" Bramblekit replied at once, jumping to his paws. Darkstripe chuckled. "Come on then, let's go!" He turned and began to head towards the camp exit.

* * *

** A teeny weeny bit of a cliffee. More action in the next chapter I promise! If you review. Thankyou very much to all of my reviewers so far! It'd be really helpful for later on if you could tell me who your favourite and least favourite ShadowClan cats are, and what I can improve on in my writing. Thanks!**

**Review!**


	4. The forest at last

"What about mother?" Asked Bramblekit, glancing around nervously, trailing after me. I turned back to him in exasperation.

"Stop being such a spoilsport." I told him. Bramblekit glanced once more and then with a surge of energy he rushed forward, bounding into the forest. My eyes grew wide as I look all around me. It was all so big and green!

The grass was soft beneath my paws and the bushes as high as the nursery. Every scent was a new experience and I could sense Darkstripe's faint amusement at our reactions. Very soon my paws began to ache and I slowed down.

"I'm tired, my paws ache." I complained. Darkstripe glanced back in surprise.

"What, a big, strong kit like you? Don't be silly, its not far now." He told me. I felt frustration. I was strong! Bramblekit bounded back to me and gave me a nudge.

"Come on! It'll be worth it!" He meowed. I did not reply but walked on in silence, my tail lashing and indicating my irritation. Both the toms either didn't realize, being the mouse-brains they were, or ignored me. I thought the latter and grew so angry I thought I would burst but suddenly I scented something. Fireheart! I glanced around at Darkstripe and Bramblekit. They hadn't noticed.

My eyes gleamed in silent satisfaction and my tail stopped swishing, now reduced to an occasional twitch. As we continued I sensed the young deputy following us but I kept my jaws firmly shut. Gradually the trees thinned and Darkstripe slowed. Both Bramblekit and I sniffed the air and I recoiled in disgust.

"Yuck!" I exclaimed. "What is that?"

"Is it a fox?" Bramblekit asked.

"No, no its ShadowClan scent." Darkstripe replied. He led us on and the scent grew stronger.

"I'm getting it all over my paws!" I whined, realizing that I was covered with the strange yucky scent. It was revolting! Darkstripe ignored me and I was about to say something to the gray black tom when a massive tabby stepped out in front of me. All of my previous thoughts flooded out of my brain in a heartbeat and I was left empty-minded, staring up at the biggest cat I had ever seen.

* * *

**Sorry this is so short. I'll put up the next chapter as soon as I finish typing it. I just needed a cliffhanger! :D Review! Or the kitty cat will come at night and say something. Say something so scary you won't be able to speak you'll be so scared. You know what the kitty cat will say? It will say Boo! ARGH! Run for your lives! Or just Review. :D**


	5. Father

_Darkstripe ignored me and I was about to say something to the gray black tom when a massive tabby stepped out in front of me. All of my previous thoughts flooded out of my brain in a heartbeat and I was left empty-minded, staring up at the biggest cat I had ever seen._

* * *

The big brown tabby reached down to touch noses with me and it was all I could do not to move and control my shivers. The massive tom stood up once again. I was frightened but eagerness coursed through me.

"Do you know who I am?" He asked. Bramblekit trembled in excitement.

"Darkstripe said he would take us to meet our father." He replied looking up at the proud brown tom in front of him.

"Are you our father?' I asked bursting with curiosity. "You smell a bit like us." I added referring to my brother and myself. The tabby dipped his head.

"I am." He answered.

"This is Tigerstar," Darkstripe announced. "The leader of ShadowClan." If my eyes could get any bigger they would have. Father was a leader? Of another Clan?

"Wow!" Bramblekit exclaimed. "You're really a clan leader?" He asked. Tigerstar nodded, his amber eyes glowing. Suddenly I realized. Bramblekit looked exactly like Tigerstar! Now it was obvious who our father was.

"Why can't we come and live with you in your clan?" I asked, my fur bristling eagerly. "You must have a really nice den!" I fantasized the leader's den from our clan in a slightly different camp only much, much better but father shook his head.

"Your place is with your mother for now." He told me, then seeing my crestfallen face he added,

"But that doesn't mean I'm not proud of you." He turned to Darkstripe. "They seem fine, strong kits. When will they be apprenticed?"

"In a moon or so. It's a pity I already have an apprentice or I could have mentored one of them myself." He told my father, his fur bristling in either anticipation or excitement. I couldn't tell which but my father turned back to us expectantly.

"Can you hunt? Can you fight?" He asked us. "Do you want to be good warriors?" Bramblekit and I nodded eagerly.

"I'm going to be the best warrior in the clan!" Bramblekit boasted, but I if I couldn't be the best warrior then…

"I'll be the best hunter!" I told father.

"Good, good." He told us, licking us in between our ears. Bramblekit paused for a second before he spoke.

"Please Tigerstar, why are you the leader of ShadowClan when our mother is a ThunderClan cat?" He asked. Tigerstar looked faintly surprised.

"They don't know?" He asked Darkstripe who shook his head.

"Well then, that's a long story. Sit down and I will tell you." He meowed. Suddenly I sensed movement behind me and we all turned to see Fireheart step out of the bushes. I felt a twinge of satisfaction of the shock and disbelief on Darkstripe's face.

I looked up at my father wondering what his reaction would be. His face was calm but I was unnerved by the look in his eyes. Anger and irritation lay there but what scared me the most was the hate.

The look soon faded and he was calm when Fireheart began to speak.

"Good day Tigerstar, you're a long way from camp." He stated and I was startled by the look that flashed across his face but it was gone in an instant.

"And so are you Darkstripe." Fireheart's eyes hardened. "What are you doing here with these kits?" He asked harshly.

"How did you know we were here?" Darkstripe asked, but the tremble in his voice betrayed his fear and uncertainty. It made me wonder. What was going on here?

I bounded over to Fireheart, Bramblekit close behind me as Fireheart replied. "You were making enough racket to wake the whole forest. I saw you crossing the stream." My eyes widened in surprise. That was where I had scented him! I must be a really good scenter.

"This is our father! We came all the way from camp to see him." I told the ginger warrior. He nodded but barely dipped his head.

"Why did no cat tell us he was the leader of a clan?" Bramblekit asked curiously but Fireheart seemed to ignore him and instead turned to Darkstripe.

"Well?" He asked. Tigerstar dipped his head to the deputy.

"Blame me, not Darkstripe." He told Fireheart. "I wanted to see my kits. You wouldn't deny me that surely?" I saw confusion cross Fireheart's face as he replied.

"That's all very well but Darkstripe shouldn't have taken them without permission. Its dangerous to let the kits wander so far away from their camp." Darkstripe narrowed his eyes.

"They're not wandering, they're with me." He meowed.

"What if a hawk had attacked? There's still little cover in some parts of the forest. Have you forgotten Snowkit?" He snapped. I couldn't help but whimper at the memory of Snowkit. He hadn't been a great playmate but he had just been a kit. Just like me.

Fireheart looked down at me briefly. "Take them back to camp Darkstripe, now." Darkstripe exchanged a glance with Tigerstar and then shrugged.

"Come on, Fireheart has spoken and we must obey." His voice was neutral but his eyes held a sneer. I followed Bramblekit as he walked up to Darkstripe.

"Say goodbye to your father before you go. You'll see him again when you're apprentices and can go to gatherings." Fireheart meowed.

"Goodbye!" I mewed excitedly but also disappointedly.

"Goodbye. Work hard and I shall be proud of you." Father told us. I could still feel his gaze on my back long after we had had left.

* * *

**Do you like it? I'm sorry if this is a little boring because you've heard all of the dialouge before but do you like how Tawnykit scented Fireheart before he showed himself? I'm trying to add little bits and pieces which are new. I'll try to get through their kithood as soon as possible but I need reviews before I update! Thanks to everyone who has reviewed so far. Its because of you that I update. So review! **


	6. Rainkit

The trip home was uneventful, nothing more exciting than a bird flying out of a tree screeching at the sight of us. I was dreading my mother. Already I could hear her scolding me, glaring at me, yowling at me.

Darkstripe didn't speak the whole way home and Fireheart ignored us. I guess two kits are nothing compared to him. But he is brilliant, he does everything right. When I'm a warrior I'm going to be just like him. Or do I want to be like father, a clan leader? I felt a thrill of excitement at the thought. Maybe I could be like both of them.

Suddenly the young deputy whirled around to face my brother and I. Darkstripe halted too, scowling at the ginger tom.

"Stay here." Fireheart ordered and marched away, vanishing into some bushes. Everything was silent. In the distance I could hear a bird chirp. I began to get impatient and just when I though I would burst. Fireheart reappeared.

"Come on." He demanded. Bramblekit and I followed him obediently through the bushes and to our amazement through a thorn tunnel. We emerged from the tunnel blinking at the new sun light.

"Tawnykit! Bramblekit!" A frantic voice meowed. I turned to see Goldenflower, my mother racing towards me. I barely had time to prepare myself before she covered us in panicked licks as if she were trying to wash away every other scent form the forest.

"Where in great StarClan have you been?" Mother cried between licks. Her voice sharpened.

"Why did you leave without telling me, well?" She asked, narrowing her burning amber eyes.

"We saw our father!" Bramblekit announced excitedly. Mother froze. Just for a second she stared in shock at my brother unable to move. Then she blink and the anger returned to her eyes.

"Oh? And which cat gave you permission to leave camp? Fireheart?" She asked fiercely. "Bluestar?" She added, a little sarcastically.

"No." Bramblekit said slowly. He had received my silent snarl and hiss to be quiet and he wasn't quite sure whether to go on or not.

"Perhaps some StarClan leader came down and gave them permission." Another cynical voice suggested. I turned to see Mousefur walk past, her crimson nose up in the air. I narrowed my eyes and watched her walk into the warrior den feeling annoyed and confused.

Darkstripe tried to slip into the warrior den too but mother caught sight of him. Her eyes narrowed even further and she turned to us. I just nodded.

"Darkstripe!" Goldenflower snarled in irritation, stalking over to the sleek gray black warrior. "We are going to talk. Right now!" She hissed. Darkstripe looked away sheepishly knowing what she was talking about.

"In the middle of camp?" He whined.

"Yes!" Mother hissed again at him. "Look –"

I watched all this in fascination but now Bramblekit was distracting me.

"What?" I asked in exasperation.

"Come on," Bramblekit mewed. "Let's go and pretend to be asleep, then mother can't yowl at us." He suggested. I was reluctant to be dragged away from the conversation as usually mother didn't raise her voice on anyone other than us, but; Bramblekit's idea was a good one.

I turned away from the scolding regretfully, but the prospect of sleep, any kind of sleep sounded good. When mother came in later frustrated by ThunderClan's older warriors she had a pleasant surprise. Both Bramblekit and I were sound asleep. And no, we weren't pretending.

"Okay, I'm going to be Owlstar, and you can be Raggedstar." Bramblekit declared to Sorrelkit. Sorrelkit was a lot of fun to play with and she nearly always got to be a leader.

"Fine then, I'm going to be Crookedstar!" I mewed excitedly but Bramblekit shook his head.

"No you're going to be my warrior, and Rainkit and Sootkit can be Raggedstar's warriors!" he announced.

"Why?" I whined. "Can I at least be deputy?" I protested. Bramblekit thought for a moment.

"Okay." He agreed. "Look out! " He cried, turning to Sorrelkit with Rainkit and Sootkit behind her. "ShadowClan is invading!" On cue Sorrelkit pounced and Bramblekit pretended to be caught by surprise. I leapt onto Rainkit who collapsed at my unexpected weight.

"Oof!" He let out a gasp of air. "Let me up!" I obliged and stood but Rainkit pinned me down.

"Hey!" I cried. "That's not fair! Let me up!" But Rainkit shook his head, his eyes shinning in amusement.

"You fell for it!" He teased. I narrowed my eyes in anger but I couldn't get up. With a surge of anger and energy I kicked my strong back legs and the gray kit went flying. I hurled myself after him and shoved his nose into the ground.

"Let me up!" Rainkit choked but I wasn't going to fall for the same trick twice.

"No." I replied carelessly, turning my head away but keeping one paw firmly on the back of Rainkit's neck.

"Tawnykit!" Rainkit gasped but I ignored him. Bramblekit and Sorrelkit came rushing over.

"Tawnykit, Tawnykit, let him up!" Bramblekit cried. I didn't know what all the fuss was about but I listened to my brother and reluctantly let the gray kit up.

Rainkit was a terrible sight. His fur was all messy and dirt and torn where I had gripped his neck too hard. On the back of his neck were pinpricks of blood where my claws had gone in by accident.

Rainkit's eyes were red and now he wheezed and gasped for breath as if he could never get enough air in. His nose was streaming with blood and I desperately hoped it wasn't broken. But what Rainkit looked like was nothing compared to how I felt. My mind was chaotic.

I sat in the corner watching as Sorrelkit led her brother to the medicine cat den; Bramblekit and Sootkit following to make sure he was all right. It wasn't that I didn't care about Rainkit. It was just that I was too scared to go and see how he was.

* * *

**Well? How do you like it? Is Rainkit seriously hurt? Will Tawnykit be severely punished for this episode? Gasp! Only I will know, unless you review! Thanks to all who have reviewed so far, Everyone loves Tawnypelt! **

**This story will stick to the books up until a certain point, but then I will take it in a new direction. When she's in ThunderClan its a little boring, sticking mainly to the books except for added scences like this one, but nothing that would affect Fireheart too much. Then when she goes to ShadowClan it gets a lot better. So hang on soon it'll be a bumpy ride! Review! **


	7. New feelings

_I sat in the corner watching as Sorrelkit led her brother to the medicine cat den; Bramblekit and Sootkit following to make sure he was all right. It wasn't that I didn't care about Rainkit. It was just that I was too scared to go and see how he was._

I curled up in the den for the rest of the day. Mother was worried but I just said I was tired. But she noticed how when Bramblekit came to talk to me I pretended to be asleep and finally she came to talk with me when the other kits were out playing.

"Tawnykit?" She asked. I half opened my eyes. "Can I talk with you?" I considered this for a second and then relented with a sigh. I sat up and began to wash my right paw. "Why don't you play with the other kits?" She asked me.

"I was tired." I replied stubbornly. Mother sighed.

"Tawnykit, do you honestly think I believe that? I don't and neither do you. What really is the matter?" I shook my head determinedly and glared at mother.

"I'm just tired." I insisted. I could see mother trying to control her anger. I knew that my stubbornness got on her nerves but right now I didn't really care.

"Well, if you won't tell me perhaps you'll talk to Cinderpelt or Bluestar. I could even get you Fireheart." Mother meowed slyly, getting to her paws. My eyes widened in panic.

"No! No!" I cried in alarm. "I'll tell you." I agreed reluctantly as she sat once more, curling her tail around her paws. And so I explained everything about that morning to Goldenflower who sat there calmly, patiently listening to my tale.

"I don't know what to do!" I finished and as I spoke I was berating myself for sounding weak. But there was no on else around was there? I quickly glanced around the nursery but all I saw was Willowpelt asleep in the opposite corner.

"Well it's obvious what you should do." Mother meowed. I looked up at her incredulity in my eyes

"What?" I asked eagerly, my eyes brightened immediately but dulled just as quickly with her next words.

"Go and apologise." She stated it so calmly, so easily. "Go and tell him how you feel." I just stared at her like she was crazy.

"No way!" I spat. "Apologise to Rainkit?" Goldenflower shook her head sadly at me.

"Saying sorry is hard but it's worth it." She told me. I hissed faintly in disgust at the thought. Apologise to that mouse-brained tom? No way.

"Isn't he fun to play with?" Mother asked. "You'll never play with him again unless you say sorry." She meowed. I merely sniffed and turned my head away. Mother tried a new tactic.

"Don't you remember how he looked, after you had fought him? Aren't you sorry about that?" The picture of Rainkit covered in blood that I had drawn flashed through my mind and I began to gasp for breath. I turned and ran out of the nursery. I needed to get out, now.

"Tawnykit! Wait!" Goldenflower yowled. "I'm sorry!" She called. I ran on ignoring her. _I'm sorry too mother_ I thought.

"I'll be back! I'm just going to the forest!" I replied. I ran on through the camp and then into the forest the word _sorry_ echoing around and around my mind.

* * *

Once I was out of sight and earshot of the camp I stopped, my heart thudding in my chest. The forest was quiet and still. I'd never been here alone before. Most of me was scared witless but there was no way I'd ever admit that to any cat.

I sat down and curled my tail around my paws. Here was a good place to sit and think. Back in the den with mother questioning me so closely I could never have gotten my thoughts sorted out.

I did want to say sorry to Rainkit but after that talk with mother there was no way I could risk my pride. A rustle in the bushes disturbed my thoughts and as I turned I was groaning inwardly at being distracted like this so early.

"Tawnykit?" A small voice asked and to my greatest annoyance I saw the disturber of my thoughts step out. It was Rainkit.

He seemed fine, nothing wrong with him at all but instead of being relieved it only fired my anger.

"What are you doing?" I hissed at him. Rainkit looked surprised.

"I saw you rush out of camp and I just wanted to make sure that you were alright." He explained but my rage just grew, mainly due to the fact that I had not had the courage to ask how he was before.

"I simply want to be alone!" I spat.

"Well I just wanted to say I'm sorry for being mean earlier." He told me. This fuelled my fury even further. What was sorry? Everyone says it but what is it? I stalked towards him furiously.

"What is sorry?" I snarled ferociously. I put my face so close to his that our noses almost touched and he began to quaver just like me only I was doing it in anger. I raised my paw; claws unsheathed and brought it down hard along his shoulder. Rainkit flinched in shock but to his credit he did not move away from me.

"Now are you sorry?" I asked, my anger flashing in my eyes. I saw the first drops of blood beginning to trickle from the gray kit's wound, a starling contrast to his blue eyes that were the cause of his name.

"I'm sorry that you can't say sorry, or at least I hope you're sorry cause –" Rainkit began to shake violently as his blue eyes met my green ones.

"Why?" I asked, my thoughtless rage fading away in my overwhelming sense of curiosity. Rainkit trembled harder.

"Why Rainkit?" I asked again more insistently. Rainkit leaned closer a little hesitantly, bringing our noses within touching distance again.

"Because I love you." He replied. My eyes widened in shock and within moments my mind was chaos again. I didn't know what answer I'd been expecting but it certainly wasn't that. Unable to cope with all of the shock I felt I stumbled backwards, turned tail and fled, ignoring Rainkit's desperate pleas for me to stay that came from behind me, once again.

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**Have I made Tawnykit leave ThunderClan forever? Gasp! Only I will know, unless you review! Do you like that shipping? RainxTawny? I don't think its ever been written before. This was completely unexpected, it took me by surprise too. But the idea came to me and so down it went onto the paper. **

**I can make it a kit's crush developing into love or make it nothing at all iwth Tawnykit rejecting Rainkit. Or I can make it a Kit's crush but it doesn't develop into love. What do you think? I'm not sure cause its not what I planned. Entirely up to you! So review and tell me what you think!**


	8. Russetfur of ShadowClan

**Sorry for the slow update. I need reviews people! What do you think of rainxtawny? I do know that its a bit strange for a kit to say 'I love you' but you know how it is when a thought brosses your mind and it stays there refusing to go away. This is a bit of a filler but I thought you might like lots of new, never seen before dialougue.** **I'll stop rambling now and let you read.**

* * *

I ran and ran keeping my thoughts focused on making my paws move forwards again and again. I almost lost track of time I was flying through the air so fast but eventually my paws slowly, too tired to carry on. I glanced around my legs shaking in exhaustion. I sank and lay on the ground panting.

I didn't recognise my surroundings but that was hardly surprising as I was still a kit. I longed to be an apprentice so that my mentor could show me around ThunderClan territory. It would be so much fun!

A rustling in the bushes made me look up. _Oh no, a patrol! They'll take me back to camp. _I scrambled to my paws but they gave way beneath me. I hissed in frustration but the cats that came out of the bushes were not any ThunderClan cats I knew.

I glared defiantly at them. They must be rogues! I struggled to my paws and growled a challenge.

"What are you doing here?" I spat, desperately trying to hide my fear. A dark gray tom turned to the ginger she-cat beside him giving a mew of surprise.

"What is a kit like you doing on ShadowClan territory?" He asked. My eyes widened in surprise. ShadowClan? I sniffed the air and recognised the strong smell of their clan.

"Whatever I want to do." I replied giving them all a hard stare. The ginger warrior merely blinked at me her green eyes shinning in amusement. I was startled to realise her resemblance to Fireheart.

"I like your attitude kit," She meowed but suddenly she pushed her face close to mine. "But you're on my territory. Get out." She told me. My tail lashed from side to side.

This cat was ten times the size of me and there was no way I could fight her. I should be going anyway and she had three cronies beside her. But she had challenged me and I was not going to back down.

"No." I hissed. The she-cat's eyes widened.

"No? Do you hear that Oakfur? She says no." The ginger warrior eyed me curiously as I replied.

"No, you won't hurt me, I'm the daughter of a leader." I told her proudly. She narrowed her eyes but she was interested, very, very interested.

"Oh?" She asked. "You're not Bluestar's daughter yet you smell of ThunderClan. How can that be?" She asked. My pride swelled up. I liked this. They were treating me like a real warrior!

"How can you know if I was Bluestar's kit or no?" I asked, my eyes flashing but it was the brown tom beside the ginger she-cat who spoke.

"Kit, if you're here to play games with us you may as well– " He began but I interrupted him.

"Fine, I'm not Bluestar's kit. I'm Tawnykit, Tigerstar's daughter!" I declared. I would have paid ten thousand mice just to see that expression on their faces again. They all recoiled in shock. The ginger she-cat eyed me uneasily.

"Tigerstar doesn't have any kits." She said carefully but I knew she was testing me.

"Yes he does." I responded. "Me and my brother." She exchanged a glance with the other warriors.

"What are your names?" I asked, burning with curiosity. The dark ginger cat shoved her face into mine again.

"Why do you want to know our names?" she asked suspiciously. I drew back and stared into her eyes.

"I'll tell you names if this has never happened. All right?" The ginger she-cat growled. I narrowed my eyes in confusion.

"What do you –" A black queen interrupted me.

"She means that she'll tell you if you keep this little incident a secret." She said, glancing at the other warriors who murmured their agreement.

"I know that." I spat, feeling embarrassed. "Alright." I mewed eagerly.

"I'm Russetfur." The dark ginger she-cat meowed. "This is Oakfur." She said flicking her tail in the brown tom's general direction. "And this is Darkflower and Boulder." She introduced me to the dark queen and a silver tabby tom that dipped his head in greeting to me. I felt a thrill of delight. These cats had basically accepted me straight off!

"We have to get on but we can't until you leave." Darkflower meowed pointedly at me. I looked away.

"Okay." I mumbled.

"Its okay little kit." Russetfur meowed giving me a quick lick on the forehead. Her green eyes sparked. "But remember, this is our secret." She meowed and I nodded obediently.

"All right." I mewed and turned away.

"Goodbye Tawnykit!" She called as I walked towards ThunderClan.

"You really like her don't you?" I heard one cat ask. Russetfur mroawed in laughter.

"No, I just let her go because I hate her you mouse-brain." I heard her voice fade as I grew nearer to the ThunderClan border. I felt as light a feather. And you know what? I've changed my mind. When I'm older, I want to be just like Russetfur.

* * *

**So, what do you think? I'm postponing the rainxtawny thing cause I'm still not sure about it. No more updates for a while till I get heaps of reviews on what people think of that pairing. What do you think of the ShadowClan cats? **

**Did you get that they don't want anyone to know because Tawnykit might say that they were mean to her and they don't want to risk that? I know I've changed Russetfur's charecter but I like it better that way. What do you think? Review!**


	9. I am very sorry!

**Hey everyone! I just want to thank all of my wonderful reviewers, and apologise for not updating. I have the most awful thing in the world and we all know what that is. WRITERS BLOCK! **

**I will continue the story but if anyone has any ideas to make it more interesting that would be awesome. Or awesomatastic. Lol. **

**I am really sorry but you can't help it if Tawnykit goes on vacation. Where, you ask? She has gone to Russia in the snow. (Shifty Eyes,) Or has she?... **

**I will however redo my other story First Light if anyone would like to go and have a quick look. While I redo that I will be working on the sequel and trying to work on this. **

**Review!**


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